An Extremely Unqualified Guide to Making Decisions

For the girls losing hours of their lives to 'what if'.

I am a Libra. Often, that is my excuse when it takes me 3 - 5 business days to decide on a new top, or, most recently, 8 months and 48 YouTube videos to purchase a phone. Whilst I don’t want to downplay the importance of such purchases, I’ve come to realise that my life is slowly slipping away in the drawn-out moments of indecision. The time I could spend living is spent deciding.

The privilege of choice is not lost on me — that we are able to choose a career, a location, a plethora of meals — and maybe therein lies the issue. We’re overwhelmed.

We are not just choosing; we’re curating. Constantly optimising. Constantly wondering if there might be a slightly better version of the decision just one more scroll away.

It becomes less about what I want and more about what I might regret not wanting. A kind of low-level paralysis dressed up as thoughtfulness. I tell myself I’m being considered, intentional even. But often I’m just stuck, hovering between options like my entire identity depends on picking the ‘correct’ one.

So, how do we stop spending half our lives deciding?

I wish I could tell you I’ve transformed into someone decisive. Someone who simply ‘trusts her gut’ and moves through life with the confidence of a man choosing a seat on Ryanair. Unfortunately, that is not my journey.

But I am trying to accept that not every decision deserves the level of significance I assign to it. Most choices are not life sentences. They are just choices. And the frightening thing about that is that there often isn’t a perfect answer hidden somewhere beneath all the overthinking, just an answer you eventually commit to.

Header Image: Pinterest

1. Stop treating every decision like it’s life-altering

Not every choice is a ‘sliding doors’ moment. Sometimes a phone is just a phone, and ordering the wrong pasta will not ruin your life trajectory. The issue with overthinking is that eventually, everything starts carrying the emotional weight of a major personality diagnosis.

2. Shorten the decision window

I no longer need eight months to purchase an electronic device. That is not research; that is psychological warfare. Give yourself a time limit. An hour. A day. A week for bigger things. Because the longer a decision sits, the more fictional scenarios your brain has time to create.

3. Accept that there is no perfect option

Part of indecision is believing there is a singular correct choice waiting to be discovered by watching just one more YouTube review. There usually isn’t. Most people are just choosing things and adjusting afterwards. Horrifying, but apparently true.

4. Realise that indecision is often fear in a more intellectual outfit

Sometimes I tell myself I’m being thoughtful, analytical, and intentional. In reality, I’m scared of making the wrong choice and having to live with it publicly. Overthinking can look productive, whilst in reality, keeping you completely still.

5. Just buy the phone

At some point, you have to participate in your own life. Not optimise it. Not perfectly curate it. Just live it. Make the choice. Send the text. Book the trip. Buy the phone. Worst-case scenario? You become one of the millions of people who simply made a slightly disappointing purchase and moved on.

And maybe that’s adulthood. Not becoming someone who always knows the right answer, but becoming someone who can tolerate not knowing — and choosing anyway.

At some point, you have to stop researching the phone and just buy the damn thing.